Partially because we didn't know what not to ask for or of what to ask. We did know that we wanted to re-create something similar if not even more of a "natural birth" experience as our first. But what is a natural birth anyway? Even though we had this "natural birth" we started looking a little deeper, even if by accident at first... It started with my some good freinds inviting us to a movie called "Orgasmic Birth" my husband dragged us. I was thinking, "you have got to be kidding me"-but went anyway, if for nothing else the entertainment value. Yes the movie did have some orgasms but the major focus was about home birthing and creating a soothing and relaxing environment for women to birth their babies.
From a variety of different sources from movies to books (education came mostly through movies since I hardly have time for reading except for Hypnobirthing) we were slooooowly impacted. I began to realize that I had been turning my authority over to an illusion that I didn't even necessarily believe. The illusion is, that hospitals are the safest place to have a baby. The general but underlying context of most hospital settings started to be revealed to us. They are always standing by waiting for a medical emergency to occur - sometimes they even, believe it or not, cause them! Through The Business of Birth, What Babies Want & Orgasmic Birth I learned what a cool, relaxed and natural birth experience could be.
So now, looking back on our natural child birth I could nitpick about things that they did in the hospital that I never even questioned because they were "protocol" from wiping the baby down to the vitamin K shot within the first few minutes. Now I see there is no good reason to take the baby away from the mother (barring a medical emergency). Birth, I learned, is not a medical state of affairs. Its, as some old doctors that used to make house calls for births, conceived of as, a "family affair". Having said that, we feel lucky to have had the birth we had as well as the midwife we had. And now we can do our best to create the setting that is the most comforting to our new baby arriving into this crazy world.In the meantime, we were leaning towards a birthing center (the best of both worlds we thought). We ruled out a couple off the birthing centers pretty soon in our search. A free-standing birth center in Brooklyn that, to me, defeated the idea of going to a birth center with no Nicu or backup defeated the purpose of leaving my house. The other option was Bellvue which has a lovely birth center but its so disconnected from the heart of any supporting philosohy and my experience of the hostpital was one of total bureaucracy. There was a water birthing option at LI hospital but call me spoiled but I thought the hospital was a little run down (Though we got to meet and talk to the nurse there who built the water birthing room and that was really neat). Finally we went to Roosevelt/ St. Lukes and got a tour. There were 80 people that day for 3 birthing rooms. That's 26 per room! Well as crazy as it sounds, I was willing to take my bets at Roosevelt/St. Lukes even with these crazy numbers and yet on a side note I was still entertaining a small chance of having a home birth. However, I had concerns.
One of them was a real medical emergency. The other was the one who I really trusted to accompany and guide us in a home birth, Susan Haas, said she didn't do home births and unless I found someone who I was really comfortable with it wasn't really a major priority for me.
I had had such a trusting experience with my former mid-wife, Susan Haas, that I was reluctant to go elsewhere and yet really wanted to create the generous setting that I now knew was possible. I went back to Susan one last time to say good-bye, I thought. In that meeting she said to me, "don't trade one hospital experience for another". She urged me to make a few calls and at least meet with a few home birthing midwifes. She recommended three. I did call a few of the referrals that Susan gave me, one of them was Cara (who was the main midwife in The Business of Birthing) She was unavailable. I then called Mirium Shwarzchild. (From her name I thought either she is going to be really old and Jewish or she is going to be too touchy-freely).
By the way, in the background of all of this ideal vision and planning there is a whole other discussion of insurance matters. Long story short, I'm 95% sure, we are covered.
Three weeks ago we were still oscillating between a birthing center and a home birth. Around this same time, something mechanical came to my attention about the fourth stage of birth and the typical way it was handled in hospitals which was disturbing. To say the least, it prodded me to do a little research and in my research I found info that addressed one of my major concerns about home birthing. (Which was the possibility of hemorrhaging). Anyway I got more clarity on the myths and facts and was not only reassured but a little shocked at what I found- if you want ill tell you later). I was willing to at least meet with one home birthing midwife. I went ahead and set up an apt with Mirium Shwarzchild.
I still wasn't convinced until Mirium walked through my door and I was convinced. I knew right away. I trusted her whole demeanor, her casual yet experienced and professional manner impressed me. I could then picture giving birth at home. She walked though some of my other concerns about having a plan B but mostly we just talked and she's great. Its been a really enlightening process of examining what we think we know and want to know to examining our underlying beliefs about what is, what isn't and in the end what we want to create for our life.
PS Susan (my original mid-wife) offered to come during the home birth. I mean how often do you get to attend a home birth?
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